So, everyone knows. My supervisor came to me. She has always been clearly uncomfortable with me, even before I ever spoke to her. She does not look at me directly when she can help it, but she will glance away from the person (with only her eyes) with whom she is speaking to see me, as if concerned with what I am doing.
She said, "We need to talk about your blog." She does not speak my name, but few do. Sometimes, I would as soon no one did. It may be what I am, but it is not who I am.
"Okay." I stopped sorting the picture books on the cart.
"In my office."
"Yes." I followed her, and eyes followed us. My hair bristled. She stopped at her door, and I continued in and climbed into a chair across from her desk as she closed the door slowly, hesitating before allowing the latch to click.
She sat. She looked at me. What does she see that frightens her?
"Your blog...is...very personal."
"Yes."
"Did you know everyone would read it?"
"No, I did not. I would not have written it if I had known anyone else would read it."
"You knew I would read it."
"Yes. I trusted you."
"Honestly, I didn't read it before I put it on the blog roll."
"Blog roll?"
"The list of blogs we've made."
"Oh. I did not know about that."
She looked at me a moment. I never thought that she would allow herself to stare at me like that. "Anyway," she said, turning blankly to her computer monitor, "I've been asked to have you make a new one, instead."
I wanted to know who asked, but I dreaded the answer. "Okay. I will. I am sorry."
"So am I," she said immediately and to my face.
Is it always "monkey see, monkey do" with you? You need to draw stronger boundaries and learn to stand up to your controlling supervisor! She's clearly jealous of your writing ability since she lacks creativity and talent of her own, and that's the real reason she asked you to write another blog, which she'll then try to pass off as her own. Wise up, Book Monkey! Learn to say "no" before it becomes too late!
ReplyDeleteI know that sometimes words do not mean what I hear, but I can not believe that my supervisor would do that. How could she be jealous of me? I am only a monkey, and she is married, so she must have love. She can not need more, can she? You are not trying to hurt me, are you? You say hurtful things. Are we not friends?
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm your friend, and that's why I'm advising you not to allow your supervisor to take advantage of your talent. That's not what you signed-up for. I don't agree that she necessarily has love because she's married. Happy people don't use others for their own gain. If you write the blog for her, she'll publish it under her own name. Don't be a chump, Book Monkey!
ReplyDeleteDo people really hurt people like that? I must write the new blog, because I want to keep my job, but I think it will not be good, anyway. I am sad it is not this blog, and I am not inspired. She will not want it and will not like it if she does. At least she can not take this one from me. Can I say that if you are my friend I think you should talk nicer to me?
ReplyDelete