I am finally grasping that nothing I have written here has been private. I want to tell about Girl, but I know she is reading, and maybe Gail is reading, too. Now that this is not on the blog roll at work I doubt anyone there is reading it. I can not write it to myself, though, and I must say what I must.
I am suspicious. I have never been that before, and I do not like it. Girl calls me a "chump" for not thinking my supervisor has bad intentions toward my blog, but what bad intentions could there be? I did not know why Hunter would tell me I am not in love, but now I am afraid of him. And how can Gail be in love with me? What have I done? Who is good? Who are my friends?
Neil likes my blog. He even says I am a good writer. He has a blog, too. He described it as a "tortuous odyssey into the abyss of hope." After he said that he laughed and snatched his wallet from his pocket, flipped it open, yanked a pen from the fold and scribbled on a pad inside. "Wow," he said. "That's pretty good." I have read some of his blog. It is long, and I think the writing must be very good, because I can not understand much of it. Ideas I do not read well, but actions I can follow. Neil said, "This should be a cautionary tale to you." He lifted my tail between us. "Don't get this caught under a rocker."
Neil is a friend, I am sure, but I wonder why he is not afraid of me being in love with May. Probably because he knows as well as I do the impossibility of my hopes, and not because I am a monkey, but because he has failed and can not imagine anyone's success. "You are going to get hurt," he said. "You have already been hurt, just by falling in love. And when you realize how foolishly you spent your emotional capital, that's when you will feel it." He looked off, staring at the thought he set free. The left of his mouth curled and he snorted softly. "It would be nice if I were lying."
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I actually meant to call you a "chimp" not a "chump." I accidentally hit the "u" instead of the intended "i." These two letters are situated directly next to each other on the keyboard, and the mistake is quite easy to make, especially after a wild night of debauchery as I had partaken in the night before which caused my secretarial skills to be not as keen as they normally are.
ReplyDeleteAlthough some might argue that being referred to as a "chimp" is no less insulting than "chump," that is for you and your higher self to decide.
Book Chump, er, Chimp, I mean, Monkey: My deepest and most sincere apologies if I have offended you.
This is hard for me to say, but I do not believe your apology is sincere. "Chimp" or "chump", that sentence was meant to hurt me. I accept your apology, because I do not want to be distrustful and suspicious, and I do not want you to fear hurting me and write what you do not mean.
ReplyDeleteDon't take it personally Book Monkey. Girl is kind and has made similar typos while commenting on my blog, referring to me as "dull" rather than "doll".
ReplyDelete